


Like A Wrecking Ball

by drivingmishcrazy



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Humor, Smut, Trapped In A Closet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:48:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22646680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drivingmishcrazy/pseuds/drivingmishcrazy
Summary: AU where Elle never leaves the BAU.Chaos ensues when Elle locks Morgan and Prentiss in a closet in hopes of resolving the tension between them. Will it work?
Relationships: Derek Morgan/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 1
Kudos: 50





	Like A Wrecking Ball

“She’s cute.”

Derek glared at Elle. Ever since she had received counseling for her PTSD and met the pretty new agent who had joined the BAU, the woman had been conspiring to get him and Emily Prentiss together. It wasn’t that Derek didn’t agree, and it wasn’t that he didn’t like Emily like that, it was that he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship and Emily Prentiss was decidedly  _ not  _ the kind of woman that you invited into your bed without it getting serious.

“Come on, Elle.” He said. “Like I already told the kid, I’m not ready to settle down and I am  _ not  _ going to insult that woman by stringing her along.”

“So don’t.” Elle said. “Come on, I can tell you like her. You were practically  _ mooning  _ over her the other day. She likes you too, you know. I can tell.”

“Alright.” Derek chuckled. “I like her. I like her a lot, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m not ready to be tied down yet. You know that.”

“Whatever.” Elle said, rolling her eyes. “Although for the record, I think you’re more ready than you think.”

Elle tried similar tactics with Emily, trying to bait her into making a move, but was met with similar resistance. It was exhausting. They were  _ definitely  _ evenly matched in stubbornness and their unwillingness to see what was right in front of them. One day after watching a particularly flirtatious exchange between the two, Elle gave Emily a pointed look as she got up from where she had been sitting at the edge of Derek’s desk.

“Oh, don’t start.” Emily warned the other woman. “We are  _ just  _ friends, Elle.”

“For now.” Elle said. “He likes you, you know.”

“So what?” Emily said, though she couldn’t hide her smile. “He’s a player, and I’m not looking to be just another notch carved into Derek Morgan’s headboard.”

“Who says you would be?” 

“Come on.” Emily said. “Does he  _ look  _ like a guy who’s ready to give up the single life?”

“When he looks at you.” Elle grinned. “When you guys were geeking out over Kurt Vonnegut, I thought he was gonna get down on one knee and propose right there.”

Emily laughed. “Stop!”

“I’m just saying.” Elle said. “The man is warm for your form, Prentiss.”

“Warm for my-?” Emily said. “God, Elle!”

“Come on.” Elle whined. “Make a move! I promise you won’t regret it!”

Emily rolled her eyes. “I’ll think about it.”

Whether she thought about it or not, nothing else came to fruition for months. Elle continued to watch Morgan and Prentiss dance around each other like lovesick teenagers. She could practically cut the tension with a knife, and truth be told, it was starting to get on her nerves. One night as they were getting back from a case, Elle decided that she couldn’t take it anymore. She approached Derek at his desk.

“Hey Morgan.” She said. “Can you help me get something off the shelf in the supply closet?”

Derek grinned. “Elle Greenaway is asking for my help?” He asked. “I thought you didn’t need a man?”

Elle rolled her eyes. “I can’t reach, you big dork.” She said. “You gonna help me or not?”

“Sure.” Derek said, shrugging.

He followed her to the supply closet and when Elle opened the door and he saw Emily Prentiss inside, he turned to look at her with suspicion, but before he could open his mouth, Elle shoved him inside and locked the door, leaving him and Emily in the dark.

“Elle!” Derek said, banging on the door. “Elle! Open this door right now!”

“Not until you two talk!” Elle called from the other side of the door. 

“Come on, this isn’t funny!” He said. “Let us out!”

“You know what else isn’t funny?” She said. “Watching you and Prentiss circle around each other too scared to make the first move.”

“Morgan.” Emily hissed. “What is she talking about?”

“You know damn well what I’m talking about, Em!” Elle said. “Now you guys can either talk, bone, or be stuck here all night, but I am  _ not  _ letting you out!”

“Damn it, Elle!” Derek growled, slamming his fist on the door. “Alright, I’ll just call Garcia and…”

“Good luck getting cell service.” Elle said. “And for the record, Garcia is on  _ my  _ side!”

“What are we gonna do?” Emily asked. Derek couldn’t see her, but the brunette sounded scared.

“I don’t know.” He said. “I think there’s a light switch in here somewhere, if I can just…”

“Ow!” Emily said. “That’s my foot!”

“Sorry!” Derek said, still fumbling for the switch.

“And  _ that  _ is my boob.” 

“Ooh, good  _ job _ , Morgan.” Elle teased. “I wouldn’t have gone straight for the grope, but hey…”

“Shut up!” Derek and Emily shouted in unison. 

They both fumbled around in the dark, tripping over each other until Emily finally found the switch and flipped it on. The light flickered and illuminated the small space. Emily’s eyes were wide, her face pale. She had a look of alarm on her face that Derek was sure was mirrored in his own beneath the annoyance. Outside, Elle stood by, waiting patiently. Gideon passed on his way out of the office and paused when he saw the young woman loitering in the hall.

“Elle.” Gideon said. “Why are you standing outside a closet?”

“I locked Morgan and Prentiss in there.” She said casually, shrugging her shoulders.

“Oh.” He said. “Why?”

“They need to talk.” She said. “The sexual tension between those two is so thick you could cut it with a knife and it’s driving everyone crazy.”

Gideon sighed. “So you had to meddle.” He said. “You don’t think that’s a little juvenile?”

“Desperate times.” Elle said. “Desperate measures.”

Gideon looked around and smirked. “Don’t let Hotch find out.” He said. “See you all tomorrow!”

“Oh come on- Gideon!” Derek shouted from inside the closet. “Gideon! Don’t let her do this!”

“He’s gone.” Elle said. “And I’m not waiting around all night for you guys to decide to pull your heads out of your asses, so get to it!”

Derek slammed the door again with his fist and sighed, sitting down on a bucket. Emily stood a few feet away, her arms folded protectively in front of her. She ran a hand through her dark hair and took a seat beside him.

“Why is she doing this?” Emily asked. “What exactly does she think locking us in a supply closet together is gonna accomplish?”

“I don’t know.” Derek said. “She  _ should  _ be minding her own damn business, Greenaway!”

“You’ll thank me later!” Elle called. “And so will your mother, once you give her all the cute little grandbabies you guys are gonna make!”

Emily flushed bright red. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t thought about what it would be like to be with Derek  _ that  _ way, but she didn’t need Elle Greenaway knowing that. Besides, what she was talking about…

“Okay.” Emily said. “Alright, I get it. She thinks that just because we’re friends and we spend a lot of time together, there’s something else there.”

“I don’t think!” Elle said. “I know! You guys have been hot for each other since the day you met, don’t deny it!”

“What do you want me to say!” Derek exclaimed. “That I like her? Okay fine! Fine, Emily, I like you! I think you’re cute.”

“Not good enough!”

“I think you’re cute too!” Emily said. “So what? That doesn’t mean anything! It doesn’t mean that we need to  _ be  _ together!”

Derek looked at her. “You think I’m cute?”

“Well, yeah.” Emily said. She shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I? God, what am I saying? Elle, you’re being  _ really  _ immature right now.”

“You guys are annoying.” Elle said. “I’m going to go finish my paperwork. I’ll be back in twenty minutes to check and see how you’re doing.”

Footsteps receded and Derek and Emily knew that they had been left alone. They both looked around at their surroundings, trying to look for a way to escape. The vent was out, it was way too narrow to fit even Emily’s slender figure. They could try to break down the door, but it was heavy and neither one of them was too keen on the idea of damaging government property, even if it  _ was  _ just a door. So they just sat, minutes ticking by in silence.

“Okay, let’s think.” Derek said. “Elle thinks that there’s this  _ thing  _ between us, right?”

“Right.” Emily said. “And she’s made it pretty clear that we’re not gonna get out of here until  _ she  _ decides that it’s been resolved.”

“Alright.” Derek said. “So let’s resolve it.”

“There’s nothing to resolve!” Emily said, clearly exasperated. “This is stupid!”

“Oh trust me, I’m with you.” Derek said. “But I’ve known Greenaway for a while now, and she’s not gonna give up. So we’ve got to make her  _ think  _ that whatever she thinks needs resolving has been resolved.”

“Derek Morgan.” Emily said. “I like the way you think. Okay, so what do we do?”

Derek frowned. “Uh, here.” He said, reaching towards her. “Let me mess up your hair a little bit.”

He tangled his hands in Emily’s dark hair, and he couldn’t deny that he liked the way it felt. Emily chuckled a little bit and reached for him, stopping when he flinched and pulled back.

“I’m untucking your shirt.” She said. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna get fresh with you. Even if you  _ are  _ cute.”

“Good idea.” He said. “Hey, how did she get you in here, anyway? I’m guessing you didn’t come willingly.”

Emily rolled her eyes. “It’s stupid.” She said. “I can’t believe I actually fell for it.”

“Come on now.” He grinned. “We’re stuck here for at least another fifteen minutes, you might as well tell me.”

“She told me that I must have sat in something.” Emily said. “And there was a huge stain on my pants. She said they had stuff in here to get it out and she would help me get it out. Then she locked me up and went to lure you in here, I guess.”

“She’s cunning.” Derek said. “I’ll give her that.”

“Yeah.” Emily said. “I just don’t know why she’s so invested in  _ us  _ being a thing. She just took whatever attraction she saw and ran with it.”

“Who knows.” Derek laughed. “I mean, she’s not wrong about one thing, we’d look good together.”

Emily glared at him. “Oh, don’t tell me you’re starting to  _ entertain  _ this idea?” She said. “Wrong or not, she didn’t have to lock us in a  _ closet!  _ God!”

Derek didn’t respond, just shrugged. There was a beat of silence and Emily felt the back of her neck growing hot as she felt Derek’s eyes on her. She cleared her throat, suddenly  _ very _ aware of how close they were.

“Okay.” She said. “What else can we do to make this believable? Cause I don’t think Elle is gonna be fooled by wrinkled clothes and messed up hair.”

“You got lipstick on?” He asked. “We could smudge it, like we’ve been in here making out.”

“We could.” Emily said. “No, that won’t work. She’d notice if it was just messed up on me and you didn’t have any on you, and my purse is out there so I can’t just put some on you, either.” 

Derek knit his brows together. There was one other idea he could think of, but he was pretty sure he was going to get slapped for it.

“We could just kiss for real.” He said. “Doesn’t have to mean anything, it’d get the job done.”

“Oh my god.” Emily laughed. “This is insane, you know that right?”

“You got a better idea?” Derek asked. “Look, if you don’t wanna do it, that’s fine, I’m just trying-“

The rest of Derek’s sentence was cut off as Emily’s mouth crashed into his. His fingers found her hair again as he pulled Emily closer, sucking gently on her bottom lip. She let out a little whimper that made Derek hyper aware of the proximity of their bodies and the fact that his was beginning to respond in ways that would be difficult to hide if they didn’t stop. They broke away panting, and both their cheeks were pink.

“Better?” She gasped. “I mean, I hope so. It’s all over you. Definitely not your shade though, Morgan.”

Derek shook his head, chuckling. “Damn, Prentiss.” He said. “You didn’t have to go all in like that.”

“I don’t do anything halfway.” Emily said, grinning at him. “And I meant, it’s not like it was terrible.”

“Definitely not.” Derek said. “You’re a pretty good kisser.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.” She said. There was a pause. “We could do it again. Just to be sure.”

Derek grinned. “If I didn’t know any better.” He said. “I would think you actually  _ want  _ to kiss me again.”

“Forget it.” Emily said, rolling her eyes. “It’s stupid, I just really wanted to sell it-“

This time, it was Derek who kissed her, and Emily’s body felt like it was on fire. Her hands gripped the back of Derek’s head as their lips met over and over again, Emily’s tongue getting acquainted with the taste of Derek Morgan’s mouth. Emily hear him groan into her mouth as her hips began grinding against his and she felt a telltale bulge beginning to press against her.

“Em…” Derek murmured. “Emily, we gotta stop or things are going to get uncomfortable real fast.”

“Feels pretty comfortable to me.” She said, kissing him again. “It would feel even better without all of these clothes on.”

Derek paused. “You serious?” He said. “You wanna do this here?”

“Elle hasn’t come back yet.” She said. “We might be in here a while, who  _ knows  _ how long we’ll have to wait to take care of  _ that  _ if we don’t?”

“You may be right.” Derek chuckled. “But I don’t exactly keep protection on me when I’m on a case.”

Emily smirked and held up a metallic packet. “I got you covered.” She said. “Though I’ve gotta say, I’m kinda surprised that you  _ don’t  _ carry one with you everywhere you go.”

“If we’re caught.” Derek said. “We’re fired. You know that, right?”

“So let’s not get caught.”

Derek stared her down for a long moment, but though she was smirking, there was no trace of anything but sincerity and desire in Emily’s eyes. His lips were back on hers in an instant and they were going for the buttons on each other’s pants. Derek pushed Emily up against the wall and she opened the condom, rolling it on over his already swollen member. Derek lifted her by the hips and got into position.

“Be quiet.” He cautioned. “Are you ready?”

Emily nodded. “I’m ready.”

Derek kissed Emily’s forehead and pushed up inside of her, grinning at the way Emily gasped and bit her lip as he filled her. He gave her a moment to get used to the breach before making long, slow strokes within her.

“Damn, Morgan.” Emily said in between thrusts. “I’ve heard rumors but you do  _ not  _ disappoint.”

Derek chuckled. “Glad to hear that I live up to the hype, princess.”

“Oh definitely.” Emily said, laughter turning into gasping as he moved in her. “Oh god, right there. Harder.”

“You like it rough?” Derek teased. “I can do that.”

Derek captured Emily’s lips with his own and increased the pace of his thrusting, taking the way her muscles tightened around him and her nails dig into his back as a sign of encouragement to keep going. He angled his mouth towards her neck, nipping and sucking at the flesh there, relishing the taste of her skin. He kept going harder, their movements rattling the door as all caution was forgotten in the throes of pleasure. Involuntary whimpers and the way Emily seemed to cling harder to him told Derek that she was close and truth be told, he wasn’t too far behind. 

“You gonna come for me, princess?” He whispered in her ear. 

“That depends.” Emily said, something flashing behind her dark eyes. “You gonna come for me?”

“You first.” Derek said.

Emily smirked. “We’ll see.”

In the end, it didn’t take long for either of them, Derek felt Emily’s muscles tightening and throbbing around him and seconds later, he felt himself going over the edge, with Emily clapping a hand to his mouth to keep him from crying out. They stayed pressed up against the wall for a long moment before Derek kissed Emily’s forehead again and lowered her to her feet. Clothes were hastily moved back into place and the condom disposed of in an almost too-conveniently placed trash can in the corner, with Derek making sure to bury the evidence of what they had just done beneath the other garbage. He looked over at Emily, whose cheeks were tinged pink, dark hair stuck to her face with sweat. She laughed and buried her face in her hands.

“Oh my god.” She groaned. “I can’t believe we just did that, Morgan. What the hell were we thinking?”

Derek shrugged. “I was thinking that we were pretty damn good together.” He said. “And that maybe if we ever get out of here, I could take you to dinner.”

Emily smiled. “I’d like that.”

Derek smiled and moved to kiss her again when he was interrupted by a knock at the door. The two of them froze. 

“Are you guys  _ done  _ yet?” Elle called. “You’ve been in there thirty minutes, I wanna go home tonight!”

“Let us out, Greenaway.” Derek said. “You got what you wanted.”

The door unlocked and swung open to reveal Elle smirking at the pair as she took in their wrinkled clothes, Emily’s messy, sweaty hair, and the way they were both breathing heavily.

“And then some.” She said. “I can’t believe you guys actually  _ did  _ it! I came back to see if you guys were still alive and uh, let’s just say it’s a good thing that Hotch is still hiding in his office, or you guys would be screwed!”

Elle looked at them again and smirked. “Well,” she added. “More screwed than you already are.”

Derek chuckled and grabbed hold of Emily’s hand.

“Good  _ night _ Elle.” He said. “If you don’t mind, I think I promised this beautiful woman dinner.”

Elle grinned. “You’re welcome!”

“Yeah yeah yeah.” Emily called over her shoulder. “You better not tell on us!”

“Oh don’t worry!” Elle said. “I’m not gonna say anything, I don’t want to get in trouble either. But I  _ better  _ be your best man after this, Morgan!”

“Very funny!” He said.

It took five more years, but as it turned out, Elle  _ was  _ the best man at their wedding, and when Derek and Emily’s first daughter was born, her full name was Lorelai Elle Morgan, for the crazy woman who locked them in a closet and ultimately brought them together.

  
  
  
  



End file.
